The People Who Open Doors

3-minute read

Hi Reader,

I’d asked a board member to ask a colleague to make an introduction for almost a year.

Nothing happened.

I’ve learned not to expect it to.

When I finally faced that honestly, not with judgment or frustration but with curiosity, I realized it was teaching me something important about how external influence really works.

The Misconception Most of Us Carry

We start this work believing influence is something we build. Make a persuasive case. Tell the story well. Earn the meeting. Win the room.

That’s not wrong. But it’s incomplete.

CDOs who move the most difficult external relationships eventually discover something that changes their whole approach: influence does not come from persuasion. It comes from trust.

You do not win over a Fortune 500 executive just by having the best pitch. You succeed because someone they already trust decided your mission was worth their attention and told them so.

That distinction changes almost everything about where you spend your energy.

Why Executives Don’t Decide the Way We Think

Senior executives rarely make significant philanthropic decisions based on a convincing presentation alone.

What they’re asking — often without naming it — is: Can I defend this?

Will this look sound to my CEO? Will Legal ask hard questions? Will Communications need to clean this up? Is there history of this in our sector? Who else has already done this?

They are not buying impact. They are buying defensibility, the confidence that saying yes will stand up to internal scrutiny.

That is why a warm introduction from a respected peer often works better than even the best cold outreach. It is not just about being friendly; it is about reducing risk. A peer introduction does more than open a door. It transfers credibility. It says, I have already decided this is worth your attention. Now you can too.

The Work That Happens Before the Meeting

Most of us obsess over the pitch. The leave-behind. The proposal. The ask.

The highest-leverage work happened weeks earlier.

Who mentioned us to them? Which physician sits on their advisory board and knows our mission? Which board member went to business school with their CEO? Which of their employees are already volunteering with us? Which peer organization they respect already supports us?

By the time you are sitting across the table, their opinion is often already 70% formed. You are mostly confirming what they have started to believe or working to overcome what they have started to doubt.

The meeting is the last mile, not the whole journey.

What I’ve Learned About Why Introductions Work

Here’s the honest part.

I’ve asked for a lot of introductions over the years. I’ve asked board members to connect us to corporate donors. I’ve asked colleagues to open doors to funders. I’ve asked donors to introduce us to their networks.

Most of the time, nothing happens. I’ve made peace with that. But when it does work, when the introduction happens and the relationship begins, I have started to notice what those moments have in common.

It is almost never about how well I asked. It comes down to two things: my relationship with the person I asked was strong enough for them to act on my behalf, and their connection to the mission was deep enough for them to use their own credibility.

Both have to be true. One without the other stalls.

This means the real work of external influence is not about cultivating prospects. It is about cultivating believers. The people who open doors for you do not do it because you gave them a good briefing. They do it because they believe in what you are building, and they have believed long enough that acting on it feels natural.

You can tend that over time. You can’t manufacture it on demand.

What This Changes

If influence is transferred through believers, then the most important external relationships aren’t always the ones closest to the ask. They’re the ones closest to the people you need to move.

A board member who loves the mission and knows the right CEO is worth more than ten polished proposals. A physician who volunteers and sits on a corporate advisory board is worth more than the best cold outreach strategy you can design.

This changes how we look at our portfolio. It is not just about which prospects we are cultivating, but also about which believers we are supporting and whether they have the right connections.

It also changes your expectations. You do the work, make the ask, and support the believers. Then you let go of the outcome, because the result depends on a relationship you cannot control.

I’ve learned not to expect it. That’s not resignation. That’s how this works.

Your Turn

Pick one external relationship you have been trying to move, such as a funder, a corporate partner, or a board prospect. Write down two names: one person who already believes in your mission, and one person who could pass that belief to your target. If both names come easily, you have a path. If not, that is your next step.

On My Radar

A new benchmark study from Kindsight and Apra found that how often research staff look up a donor predicts operational maturity almost as strongly as how many research staff an organization employs. The instinct to fix a stalled pipeline with another hire may be pointing at the wrong lever. This report is a data geek's dream.

Coming Next Week

Arc 3, Power, Politics & Influence continues. Next Sunday, we'll look more closely at what is happening on the other side of the table, with the executive who has not said yes yet. We'll explore what they are really asking, what they need before they can move, and what Chief Fundraisers who understand this do differently before the meeting even happens.

Cheers,
Christine

PS — This issue was written for the Chief Fundraiser who has been doing everything right but still sees introductions go nowhere. If that sounds like you, reply and tell me what you are facing.

I’m Christine Bork, Chief Development Officer at the American Academy of Pediatrics. I write Chief Fundraiser Weekly to share what I’m learning as I lead a growing team and try to do the work in a way that’s sustainable and thoughtful.

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